Not feel like talking..

You sit silently.. Not feel like talking.. Ur eyes look deep.. So far away.. And so different..
All of the sudden, I feel like a stranger in your life..
Do not know how I was so sure that I will be someone special to you..
When you sat there silently, I felt like want to say something out..
But I did not..
Maybe you want some peaceful space for yourself..
Or maybe I was scared..
They said, it is always silent before a thunderstorm arrives..
I hope not..
I hope the silent in you could just be a simple one..
Not implying anything..

When you are silent, I feel that I do not know you..
What is going on in your mind at this moment??
What is playing in your mind??
What is bothering you..
I do not know..
And not going to know it..
As you silent, I lost all my courage..
I become timid..
I become helpless..
Is that because I love you??
Or is it because I scared I will lost you..

At this moment, I become silent too..
Thoughts playing in my mind..
I cant control it..
I cant stop it..
Feel like want to runaway..
From this silent..
From you..

When you and I were silent..
Our world falls apart..
No longer connected..
And I feel lonely..
I am in my own little world again..
Trapped..

I struggled.. I silently struggled..

viewing ppl blogs

When you reading people's blogs.. You are reading their stories, their feelings and you hope you could understand but still sometimes it is a totally different world for you to enter.. You do not know who they are talking about.. Why their blogs suddenly turn blues and what is really going on.. Sometimes, we just guessing what could it be.. Could it be a break up? What's the real stories?? Just like now you are reading my blogs, do you really know me? No.. Do I really exist?? Could be yes and could be no.. Maybe as another identity.. Blogging jz a way to leave something somewhere with minimum effect on yourselves.. I could be a total different ppl in the real world.. Only in blogs, I unveil myself as what I want to say in my blogs.. Sentimental?? A bit..

After a short while, you feel like you know that person via their blogs. But actually you both are far far apart that there is no interception in your real lives.. You will never meet each other and she or he do not even bother if you had inspect his or her life that they put in blogs.. They put there jz to put it there, doesn't expect someone to read and if someone read also nothing matters.. Do they influence your lives? Probably.. But nothing could be measure.. whatever you did in your lives do have effect on your lives afterwards.. including reading people blogs and blogging..

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Today watched 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'.. It gave me a lot of thoughtful ideas.. We all are born as a small little babies and follow the path of life, to grow, to become old and eventually died.. Fading away.. Have you ever thought that it could be reversed?? How difficult it would be if that happens?? You are just different and nobody will understand that kind of feelings..

There was a saying.. When you become old, you will behave like a little child again.. U become stubborn and you even fight with your grandchildren for toys and you wet.. So, life is nothing that you can stop it from its progress.. You cant said, stop, I dun wan to grow old and you can never said I do not want to die.. It will progress no matter what.. When it stops, we die..

Life is cruel.. because life is so short.. For those who we missed out in life, we might not be able to catch it back.. The stages of life only appear once in a lifetime.. So, the most important message I get from the movie is that we should appreciate our lives.. every moment of it because you could never move backward and life is going on and on.. And the last day of your life, what could be in your mind? Death? Regrets? Flash-back of your life?

Traveling

Traveling along with the one you loved.. If you met someone you know, and they ask, who is this? You tell them 'friends', do you think they believe?

Travel everywhere with a same person, if one day break up, every corner will have the memories with him/her, will that be more bitter?

Travel with someone you love, if something bad happen to him/her, will you leave? And you are in trouble, you will call him/her to go?

And at the end of it, will you tell him/her that you had a great time with him/her?

Are we too vulnerable?

We think we are strong.. We think we are always on the right side.. But, have you ever felt vulnerable? Vulnerable here means emotionally.. When you see an old man sitting on the side of road, begging, you will ignore or you will donate? We probably ignore because nowadays faker are all over. We dun even trust anyone anymore.. An injured man asking for help, he might be a robber or worse, you dare to help? We are so vulnerable.. We do not trust anyone anymore and nobody is trusting you anymore.

Breeze Cool

Windy day.. Sunny.. not too bright, neither too hot..
Sitting down on the grass..
U said, " We will wait till the sunset"..
Ur smile was warm but yet so bright..
The sun set down like any other day..
But with you, I can see the bright stars coming up in the sky..