Some thoughts..

If a+b=b, then a must be equal to zero??
Then if me + you =you, then I must be nothing????

11-12-2009

Life is so long yet so short.. We can never go back in time, undone what had been done.. Is that it? Is the question that Richard Gere asked himself in the movie "Shall we dance?" Feeling stucked in life is an awful feeling. There are some regrets, something that you are not satisfied with, something that you think you should do but you are not doing it and feel like not going to do it. There are things that you wish you could do it better.. There are questions in life that you want to find out. There are someone that you want to know more.. But sometimes you life are so limited in terms of time and energy.. Most are not being done yet.. Don't know where to start with and how to start it..

Life is about flexibility.. whenever there are changes, we take it, accept it and bear with it.. Life is about gratefulness, that we should be feeling happy with whatever we had, whoever we are.. But what if we are not??

Is that it? Is that the life I am going to have?? Everyday facing the same environment and ask the same question? Is that all my life about?? Silently exist in the world and silently fading away..

From a different point of view..

I must say sorry to the person I am going to write about. It's totally not my right to say something here, but dun worry I won't mention your name and swear no one will know anything about anything I am going to write..

I do not know you in the first place, know you through facebook. You looked like a very nice girl to me. Pretty, active and smart. Dun really know you, but that is the impression I had for you..

Recently, I saw your photo in facebook, you looked totally a different person, you go clubbing, and drink alcohol too.. Not to say that it is not good or justify you. But, I really hope that you will know what you are doing. Is that what you want for your life? It that the life you want? Want you to know that socialize is not just about meeting people, is about meeting the right person. You can socialize, but with principles. And not to forget who you are in the end of the day.

Is easy for us to let it happen, compared to saying 'no', really hope that you will be happy. Wish you all the best.

Shopping

I think most people like shopping.. Especially girls.. Shopping is a need, as we need to buy the things we need. But to most of the girls, shopping is a leisure activity. We can see what's the latest thing in the market. Well, especially fashion. The turn-over rate is so so fast that new styles are just so hot to be missed out. We also want to see if there is any discount..rebate..coupon.. Great deal.. Haha.. but one thing which is not nice about shopping is.. of course money.. People said we tend to spend more when we are hungry.. Some said the more time we stay in the mall, the more we will spend.. After shopping, sometimes we realize that we spend a lot of money on things that we dun really need.. Sad.. What to do with the things? Wasted.. Haha.. But, for some people, spend money makes them happy.. Then, it's not going to be a problem. To most people, especially like me.. Haha.. I think it is better to have a budget, and a list.. Haha.. (It only works sometime.. LOL)

Stranger

I was alone, going to Mid-Valley alone, by komuter. There was a guy in black shirt who looked at me weirdly. But since he did nothing else, I just ignored him la. Then, finally reached Mid valley, I paced out and he came after me. Then he walked beside me. And he said, 'Miss, may I know u?'. I was shocked at first, and the next thing I remember is I shook my head and walked away. I dun remember Malaysia has this kind of culture or maybe I am quite an unfriendly person. But it is kind of dangerous la as he's a stranger I barely know. I think it is a correct thing la. Gals, never travel alone, kind of dangerous. Luckily it was Mid Valley.

Somewhere I belong by linkin park

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I?m not the only person with these things in mind

(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I?ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I?ve got nothing to say
I can?t believe I didn?t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it?s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
?Cause I can?t justify way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain
I?ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it?s gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I?m close to something real
I wanna find something I?ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed

I will never be
Anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I am somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

Teardrops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

I love Eason Chan

Dunno since when I fall in love with his music.. But he is really a singer, a music lover that always loves his job as a singer, which is very touching. He sings with feeling and touches my heart everytime I listen to his singing..

He has no fancy look, but the way he brings out himself shows the real him..

I am still me..

I am still me, myself, I like jeans, I like T-shirts, and I like casual outfits. I am still the same old me and I think I like the way it is.. Dun really understand why people change themselves to suit other people around? They said you are dark, then you try every whitening products to be fair. They said, they said, they said... People have thousand trillions things to say about you, and what you care about them? Do you like yourself? If yes, why bother?? I am happy with whoever I am and yes, I am still myself and am happy with that..

If I change in the future, well, it just that I want to make a change.. Nothing to do with other people around.. Because, this is my life, I decide my way.. The way I want it to be..

Living in lies..

There is a type of people, that they do not like to accept the reality of life as what they really are and they will give a lot of excuses for themselves, self relieved, I guess..

Especially women, not to be unfair, but it is true.. Well, women likes promises, compliments, and all the romantic lines copied from Romeo and Juliet.. Sometimes, they knew that all these are just craps. But still, they wanna believe then with their fullest heart..

Sometimes, I wonder. Is that the strength of believing in something that keep us the strength to live? To wake up everyday with a smile on your face?

Reality is cruel. Hopes could be unreal but yet encouraging. However, there are times that we need to know when and how to stop dreaming. There are times that we need to accept the reality as what it is, and not to be played be our own imagination. We need to know where are we, so that we can know where to go next.

Like the tree standing still on the ground, of all the blowing wind, light and shadow, it still stays on its root, steady and still.. I love trees..

Koko and mui mui??

U believe that 2 persons, a gal and a guy, they called themselves are koko and mui mui. U really believe??

It's really very difficult to say that they have no relationship in between them.. Friendship? They are better than normal koko and mui mui. Better than friends.. Like best friends, but even better than that.. Are they bf and gf? Not really, but the definition is a little bit confusing. They are not in a relationship but they care too much for each other.. They are friends, but sometimes they will jealous if they find their koko and mui mui has a better gal or guy.. They want to be taken care of as mui mui or koko but they dun wan to admit they are a couple.. The thing is sometimes it becomes a triangular relationship problems or even worse than that..

Therefore, well, not to say totally disagree, but just as an advice here, if u really like that person, tell him/her, make a clear cut. Love is all or nothing.. Dun torture urself..

All Malaysians, vote for sipadan island.. Thx

Sipadan island ( from wikipedia)
Sipadan is the only oceanic island in Malaysia, rising 600 metres (2,000 ft) from the seabed. It is located in the Celebes Sea east of the major town of Tawau and off the coast of East Malaysia on the Island of Borneo. It was formed by living corals growing on top of an extinct volcanic cone that took thousands of years to develop. Sipadan is located at the heart of the Indo-Pacific basin, the centre of one of the richest marine habitats in the world. More than 3,000 species of fish and hundreds of coral species have been classified in this ecosystem.

Now, we can all vote for sipadan as 1 of the new 7 wonders of the world..
So.. Plz visit : www.votesipadan.com
or www.new7wonders.com

Thank you!

Happiness

It's a 72 year old study that began all the way back in 1937 when 268 Harvard University sophomores were asked to participate in a study measuring “a formula-some mix of love, work, and adaptation-for a good life.” And while many of those who were college sophomores in 1937 are now dying or in their fading twilight, this study continues to be diligently maintained to this very day. And never before has science been able to report such fascinating and thoroughly time-tested results on happiness. Following are 3 powerful lessons from this study.

1. Have a Healthy Outlet

2. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

3. Happiness Must be Shared


Livin' the good life is not fancy trips, and expensive jewels, and high brow country clubs. Rather, livin' the good life is livin' the moment!


We all are searching for the happiness in our lives, not knowing what we are looking for. For me, happiness doesn't come from anything but yourself. Happy is not an emotion， it is an attitude.

Love bugs attack..

Not me.. Haha.. of course.. It's my friends. One by one fall in love.. You can really tell a difference from the person who is in love and the one who is not..

Well, there are some signs and symptoms that require proper observations.
1. They got mood swing..probably missing someone.
2. They will sit down quietly, smiling without knowing it ( not talking about psychiatric patients here), probably thinking bout the sweet memories she had recently.
3. They constantly checking on their handphone (waiting for sms or calls)
4. They will become anxious when someone talking bout that particular person.
5. Easily flush (not much significant)

Whenever, I saw someone in love, I will always think, what is the ending of the story. Not being pessimistic, but it is a natural history of love, like a disease, it has incubation period, then the infectious phase, then recovery or resolution. It will end somehow sometime after. It's normal. Those who are in love cannot realize it, only those outsiders can see the reality.

Love, causes so much people to suffer, and war in the history, yet still a lot of ppl fall in love, awake and fall again..

Property investment????

Few days before, I went to listen to a talk on property investment.. Well, it was quite intersting at first sight. However, I do not agree with the idea of getting a mortgage loan to invest on property.. They said that the you will never be working again.. you just need to come out with 10% of your own money, the rest is loan and other ppl will pay the loan for you. However, personally, I think that it is too risky to do that la..

Money is like water, it can float a boat, it can also sink one.. (chinese proverb) So is loan.. It could be beneficial at some point. But I personally do not agree to encourage ppl to take loan that easily. Where is the loan come from?? You really think the bank got so much money to lend everyone?? The money come from the ppl who save their money into the accounts. And bank use loan as a type of investments to ensure that bank can operate, and to provide financial service for ppl. Think about it, that if everyone borrow money from the bank and unable to return it and announce bankrupcy, then how are the banks going to give out money when ppl want to withdraw money from their savings??

Well, a country will probably try to secure the bank as to stablelize the economy, then our country currency will definitely drop and economy will go down.. Then who will suffer??

And to property, well, as the ppl do not have money to pay the loan, the bank will have to lelong it, then the price will surely go down.. In this kind of situation, more and more ppl will suffer.. Not counting in the unemployment problems yet..

So, still I think it is good to invest our money.. But I think we should definitely be aware that it is within our capability. Judgement is very important.. Invest so that you will never have to work again?? No way.. Working is part of our lives.. And strongly think that if you are a lazy person to work, well, you will definitely fail in investment as well as investment is not just a one day job that it requires continous monitoring and information gathering..

Never work again?? Haha.. Advertisement..

What's wrong? I am just single..

Well, what's wrong with being single?? I haven't found anyone suitable and comfortable to be with, then I stay as single.. What is wrong with that?? It doesn't mean that I cannot love someone.. It just that that person is not here yet.. Why should I fall in love just because I want to love someone?? That's what I called desperate. Why we need to start a love which we knew from the very beginning that it is not going anywhere? For experiences?? Why should we waste our time and energy for that??

la rive gaucbe d'amour

Unspoken love...
She loves him, but she can never tell him.. she said because he is the ugliest man she ever see in this planet..
He loves her.. But he can never tell her because he think she is the most fierce woman ever exist.. Her bad temper, the way she scolds ppl, the way she slaps.. Impossible..

They can never say they love each other because they know that they could not love them in action. They cannot be together, stay together or even talk peacefully to each other..

But, deep down inside, they both know very well that they had fallen into love.. But they cannot admit it.. How suffering..

Therefore, they left their loves unspoken at the left side of the river bank.. la rive gaucbe d'amour.

Money or Love??

In between love and money, which one you will choose?

Mars and Venus??

There is a very classic book about relationship between woman and man.. It emphasizes on how different is both genders and how to deal with it.. Look like a 'must have' book that every person should have.. It just like studying psychology.. Woman hopes to understand the opposite gender, then they will read it..

But why bother?? Isn't it more fun to discover the opposite gender by yourself?? Rather than read a book which say hundreds of things that you are not so sure??

Interesting Story

What is so called an interesting story? Read then you will know..

One day, a guy was admitted into ward due to chronic liver failure for almost a week. Everyday, there will be two ladies came and visited him. One look like average housewife, with the slippers, loose pants and t-shirt. Everyday, she would bring lunch and dinner and fruits to visit that guy, read papers for him, treat him nicely and sincerely.

Another one is like a supermodel with stylish outfit and with her high heels, everyday also she would come and visit after the housewife went off..

Everyone in the ward including the staff, nurses and the patients also anticipated for these two ladies.. Of course, they are all curious how the mistress can always come after the housewife and went off just before the housewife would come back for sending dinner..

Until the very last day, the mistress brought along a 10 years old son to visit that guy.. Then, the nurse told that he was so lucky that everyday also got a wife to send him the necessities. Unexpectedly, the lady became angry and shout at the nurse.. "How is that possible to have other wife? I am his one and only wife? How could there be another wife other than me?" She shouted and her voice became unmatched to her look..

The lady who they thought is the wife is his mistress??
And the one look like mistress is his wife??

The conclusion of the story given by the authors is that sometimes sincerity and tenderness of a lady is what a guy looking for instead of how a gal look like. In other words, inside is more important than outside.. But, I said it is a bullshit.. If that guy really likes the lady who look like housewife, he would have married her.. Sometimes, for guys, if they cannot get a lady with both good personality and good appearance, they will get two.. Greedy man..

Not feel like talking..

You sit silently.. Not feel like talking.. Ur eyes look deep.. So far away.. And so different..
All of the sudden, I feel like a stranger in your life..
Do not know how I was so sure that I will be someone special to you..
When you sat there silently, I felt like want to say something out..
But I did not..
Maybe you want some peaceful space for yourself..
Or maybe I was scared..
They said, it is always silent before a thunderstorm arrives..
I hope not..
I hope the silent in you could just be a simple one..
Not implying anything..

When you are silent, I feel that I do not know you..
What is going on in your mind at this moment??
What is playing in your mind??
What is bothering you..
I do not know..
And not going to know it..
As you silent, I lost all my courage..
I become timid..
I become helpless..
Is that because I love you??
Or is it because I scared I will lost you..

At this moment, I become silent too..
Thoughts playing in my mind..
I cant control it..
I cant stop it..
Feel like want to runaway..
From this silent..
From you..

When you and I were silent..
Our world falls apart..
No longer connected..
And I feel lonely..
I am in my own little world again..
Trapped..

I struggled.. I silently struggled..

viewing ppl blogs

When you reading people's blogs.. You are reading their stories, their feelings and you hope you could understand but still sometimes it is a totally different world for you to enter.. You do not know who they are talking about.. Why their blogs suddenly turn blues and what is really going on.. Sometimes, we just guessing what could it be.. Could it be a break up? What's the real stories?? Just like now you are reading my blogs, do you really know me? No.. Do I really exist?? Could be yes and could be no.. Maybe as another identity.. Blogging jz a way to leave something somewhere with minimum effect on yourselves.. I could be a total different ppl in the real world.. Only in blogs, I unveil myself as what I want to say in my blogs.. Sentimental?? A bit..

After a short while, you feel like you know that person via their blogs. But actually you both are far far apart that there is no interception in your real lives.. You will never meet each other and she or he do not even bother if you had inspect his or her life that they put in blogs.. They put there jz to put it there, doesn't expect someone to read and if someone read also nothing matters.. Do they influence your lives? Probably.. But nothing could be measure.. whatever you did in your lives do have effect on your lives afterwards.. including reading people blogs and blogging..

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Today watched 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'.. It gave me a lot of thoughtful ideas.. We all are born as a small little babies and follow the path of life, to grow, to become old and eventually died.. Fading away.. Have you ever thought that it could be reversed?? How difficult it would be if that happens?? You are just different and nobody will understand that kind of feelings..

There was a saying.. When you become old, you will behave like a little child again.. U become stubborn and you even fight with your grandchildren for toys and you wet.. So, life is nothing that you can stop it from its progress.. You cant said, stop, I dun wan to grow old and you can never said I do not want to die.. It will progress no matter what.. When it stops, we die..

Life is cruel.. because life is so short.. For those who we missed out in life, we might not be able to catch it back.. The stages of life only appear once in a lifetime.. So, the most important message I get from the movie is that we should appreciate our lives.. every moment of it because you could never move backward and life is going on and on.. And the last day of your life, what could be in your mind? Death? Regrets? Flash-back of your life?

Traveling

Traveling along with the one you loved.. If you met someone you know, and they ask, who is this? You tell them 'friends', do you think they believe?

Travel everywhere with a same person, if one day break up, every corner will have the memories with him/her, will that be more bitter?

Travel with someone you love, if something bad happen to him/her, will you leave? And you are in trouble, you will call him/her to go?

And at the end of it, will you tell him/her that you had a great time with him/her?

Are we too vulnerable?

We think we are strong.. We think we are always on the right side.. But, have you ever felt vulnerable? Vulnerable here means emotionally.. When you see an old man sitting on the side of road, begging, you will ignore or you will donate? We probably ignore because nowadays faker are all over. We dun even trust anyone anymore.. An injured man asking for help, he might be a robber or worse, you dare to help? We are so vulnerable.. We do not trust anyone anymore and nobody is trusting you anymore.

Breeze Cool

Windy day.. Sunny.. not too bright, neither too hot..
Sitting down on the grass..
U said, " We will wait till the sunset"..
Ur smile was warm but yet so bright..
The sun set down like any other day..
But with you, I can see the bright stars coming up in the sky..