1012

Questions in my mind

If you had a chance to be her boyfriend, would you still ask me to be your girlfriend?
If she did not have a boyfriend, would you be hers?
If tomorrow she break up with her boyfriend and ask you to be her boyfriend, would you?
The one in your dream, is it really me?
The one you said you love very much, is it really me??

I know I could never know the answer and I chose to dont know it forever and ever.
And that's why I posted it here as you will never see these.

To all, be honest to yourselves when you love.

Left out

Today, a friend asked me, did you ever had the feeling of being left out??

I said, " Yes, why not?? Everyone will have that kind of feeling sometimes".

Then, she said she hates being left out, and during that particular time, she felt abandoned, worthless and helpless. Think it through, well, sometimes, we did, left people out. When you very hangry, and you went out and eat without asking your friends whether they want to go together or not. When something exciting happens, we overwelmed that we forget our poor friends. When you very busy, you dont want to bother about anything or anyone.. We hurt people, and sometimes we are hurt, sometimes it makes me think that nowadays' lifestyle dont really allow us to care more. We busy, some are selfish, some just do not want to be disappointed anymore..

And we are all lonely in our own lives... we are all left out...

Life

Life is so unpredictable.. When looking at the psychiatric patients, sometimes I wonder, why is that happening to them?? What's wrong?? The brain? The mind?? Being a doctor means you must be scientific, but yet science has yet to explain everything about psychiatric illnesses. Looking backward, we always watch ghost movie that telling us that there are some haunted place or there are persons being disturbed. In psychiatry, however, we said it's schizophrenia, depends on the presentation, then we actually classified them.

We always said we are depressed, well, we meant sad, but looking at the depressed patient, well I can just say I was unhappy..

And yet they are not easy to treat, can be controlled but curable is rare..

And for children, having learning difficulties and communication problems also sometimes become a psychiatric disorder. Then, I must said life once upon the time is much more easier, nobody really care whether you can read or not as long as you can work and earn a living.. However, the development and knowledge regarding mental disorders can bring us nearer to the answer of why is it happening.. and thus is a big dilemma over there.

Conclusion?? Brain can do much more than wee know of..

2010

New year must write something to remark a brand new start.. Haha.. This new year, I want to experience life to the fullest, to do the things that makes me happy and like every year, there are some small little wishes..

1.. I wish to learn how to swim.. Haha.. After watching movie '2012', suddenly felt that knowing how to swim is extremely important.. Haha.. Always wanted to learn, but no time.. Hopefully this year can make space for it..

2.. Violin.. Haha.. I finished my piano till grade 8, to get a diploma? Well, kind of time-consuming.. Haha.. And I feel like want to learn to play a new instrument.. Haha.. Hopefully my neighbors wont complain..

3.. I wish to let go things that I used to grab on.. There were things in my heart that I could not let go till now.. Everyday kept thinking about it, kind of suffering.. I think is time to learn how to live a life as what it is and what it was. Sometimes, we could not do anything about it. There were things that I tried very hard to find out, but could not. Still, what can be done if I get to know the truth?? The truth, is that so important?? Truth vs. trust, forgive me, I chose trust, even it is a bit silly, at least it makes me happier..

4.. To have a more healthy lifestyle?? Haha.. Wide aspect.. Exercise, and balanced diet.. I hope I can achieve this, and I pray to God to let me live longer a bit, not because I am scared of death, but I still have things to do and people who need me, especially my family..

5.. Last but not least, wish all my friends a happy new year. All the best.. :)

Some thoughts..

If a+b=b, then a must be equal to zero??
Then if me + you =you, then I must be nothing????

11-12-2009

Life is so long yet so short.. We can never go back in time, undone what had been done.. Is that it? Is the question that Richard Gere asked himself in the movie "Shall we dance?" Feeling stucked in life is an awful feeling. There are some regrets, something that you are not satisfied with, something that you think you should do but you are not doing it and feel like not going to do it. There are things that you wish you could do it better.. There are questions in life that you want to find out. There are someone that you want to know more.. But sometimes you life are so limited in terms of time and energy.. Most are not being done yet.. Don't know where to start with and how to start it..

Life is about flexibility.. whenever there are changes, we take it, accept it and bear with it.. Life is about gratefulness, that we should be feeling happy with whatever we had, whoever we are.. But what if we are not??

Is that it? Is that the life I am going to have?? Everyday facing the same environment and ask the same question? Is that all my life about?? Silently exist in the world and silently fading away..